What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why was the rock band Kiss so successful?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

My marriage is fixed. My future husband repeatedly calls me to meet me in private and pressure me to have a relationship. What should I do?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Why does he text me first but when I never text first he gets mad?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What methods do private investigators use to investigate someone in real life?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

If a person stops thinking one or two words in a second or half second means he had stopped thinking for half second?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.